Shattered Mirrors:The Dreams Reservoir
by Anime-tanaka
Summary: I see her...But I can't reach her...She already loves someone else...but...WHAT ABOUT ME! I destroyed the mirror in front of me, I hold my fist that is now bleeding, it hurts but this can never compare to the pain I feel in my heart...My Mikan
1. A Hidden Feeling

Okay, (exhaling nervously) my name is Anime-tanaka, some authors may know me like GhiMiNaRuHo, jwinkee, emrevolemina and Keyk no Miko. I used to write the story "I Love New York" but I kind of deleted it. (Don't ask why) Anyway, this is my first fanfic! And I dedicate this story to emrevolemina and GhiMiNaRuHo! Hope you will like my story everyone!

Feel free to flame me or review me, I would really appreciate it!

Summary: I see her… But I can't reach her… She already loves someone else… But… WHAT ABOUT ME!? I destroyed the mirror in front of me… I hold my fist that was now bleeding, and saw all of her images flash before me… My Mikan…

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice… but I would if I ruled the world!

Chapter 1: A Hidden Feeling

On the night of November 7, it happened…

I could still remember the setting: we both were under a willow tree by a beautiful lake… The moon was beaming on the both of us. My oceanic blue eyes could see her angelic face, I thought it was a coincidence to see her there, but it was actually fate taking its place…

I usually come to that willow tree by the lake at night to think or whenever I'm not sleepy since it was very late at night, I was surprised to see somebody there.

When I got closer to the stranger, I noticed that the person seemed familiar. And then I realized… the stranger was HER…

Yes, it was MY ANGEL, who was sitting in my favorite place, MY ANGEL, with her beautiful auburn hair… MY ANGEL with her rich chocolate orbs that just made me stay in my place. The same angel who could make me blush and laugh… and even CRY…

In short, I'm in love with her…

But something is not right, she was crying… It pains me to see her cry… I just want to kill the person who hurt My Angel…

The only problem is, I can't kill the guy, because the cause of all her suffering is my own best friend, the fire caster Natsume Hyuuga.

I'm not angry at him, nor am I willing to hurt him. It's just that, I know she loves him, not me. That's why I'm hiding all my feelings for her. I can't deny the fact that she does not return my feelings, but I still have this strong urge to confess my feelings towards her. It's like I can't contain it any longer. But, even though I know she will reject me, I fear of how she will answer me. That is why I hesitate to tell her

(Flashback)

_One time when I was somewhere around the Northern Forest to feed the animas, I saw Natsume with Mikan, I went near them to say hi but when I heard Mikan cry, I stopped in my tracksand hid behind a nearby bush. I didn't mean to eavesdrop in their conversation but I don't like to interrupt them either, so I stayed in my place and waited for what will happen next._

Normal P.O.V.

"_Stop Natsume! You know you could get hurt while doing all these hard missions! Why can't you----", Mikan was cut off by Natsume. "And what, little girl?! Since when did you ever care?! You don't need to care about me! You're just so annoying!", Natsume yelled angrily. Mikan was shocked at this point and hurt by what he said. Then tears started to form in her chocolate orbs then she looked down at the ground._

"_I care! I care, okay!? Why can't you understand that, Natsume!? I get worried about you and in everything you do that could hurt me, I cry about it!! You know why, Natsume?", Mikan closed her eyes and paused a bit. "This is it! I can't control my feelings any longer! Now or never, Mikan!", she thought. Then she looked up at Natsume showing her stained red rosy cheeks and her eyes filled with the tears she's been holding back for so many years. Natsume was shocked in looking at her face and felt guilty but just for a moment, then he put back his mask on that showed of cruelty and of no concern at all._

"_I-I LOVE YOU, NATSUME!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! I TRIED TO DENY THESE FEELINGS! BUT IT WAS MAKING THE WEIGHT IN MY HEART EVEN HEAVIER TO THE LIMIT!!! AND NOW I'M SURE THESE STRONG FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE REAL!!!", Mikan then burst out crying and suddenly hugged Natsume. "Natsume, you mean everything to me…", she said between her sobs._

Ruka's P.O.V.

_My eyes then turned lifeless the minute she said those words to Natsume. I've had enough…No more… I was so jealous and I tried hard to look away from the scene, but my eyes were glued on to the painful sight of Mikan hugging Natsume. The nest thing I knew, I found my legs running away from the place. I was hurt, no doubt about it, but I was happy for Natsume since Mikan is "The One" for him, but I've always denied it and kept on saying to myself, "I'll know the answer when I tell her…"_

…_I was mixed feelings all together…_

(end of flashback)

That was last week… last week …

It seemed like an eternity has gone past, but I would never forget that moment, the moment I was already rejected without even given a chance to tell her…

I still want to say it, but I fear for our friendship, we were really close friends ever since 2 years ago when Imai left for Europe to study. Oh Imai, she would always help me to get near her… but, I'm sorry, Imai, all your efforts were all a waste… not to mention my 100, 000 Rt…

After that incident between Mikan and Natsume, they started to go in their separate ways and started acting like they don't know each other, I didn't know what happened between them since I left when I last saw Mikan hugging Natsume.

I kept on asking myself on what happened, are Natsume and Mikan mortal enemies of some sort? Inside, I know I wanted that to happen, but then again, they are both the people who I treasure the most…

I tried to ask Natsume what was going on between them, but since then, Natsume was acting colder and crueler from the past week.

I also tried talking to Mikan about it, but, all she did was lock herself up in her no-star room after dismissal.

So **this** is what she does every night… she gets out then finds a place to weep…

I wish I could take all your pain away, but I'm afraid I could never find a way to put that genuine smile back in your face…

… So I guess, this is my chance…

… This is my ONLY chance.. to tell her…

… It would at least distract her, at least forget about him even for just one moment and let her know that there is a person who loves her, who would care for her…

Then I finally took one step forward to a jump start, that could CHANGE…

… My whole life…


	2. A Forbidden Kiss

Hey, everybody! Time for the next chapter! I'm so happy when I got reviews from the last one! I promise that I would make the upcoming chapters even better! But before we start, I would like to introduce my mascot, P-chan! He's a black and cute little piglet who inspires me to go even further! Right, P-chan?

P-chan: Oink oink!

Okay, here are some things I would like to note:

Mikan, Ruka, Natsume and Hotaru are 15 years old.

I don't have anything against the NXM pairing or the RXM pairing

For those who are wondering about the pairing of this story, you're just going to have to wait and see who ends up with whom in the end of the story!

Reviews and flames are appreciated! Let's start, P-chan! (Oink-oink!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice, if I did, I would be dancing of happiness until I die… But, I'm not!

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Chapter 2: It Started With a Forbidden Kiss…

Ruka's P.O.V.

"_This is it! I just have to tell her, to make things better for her…" _I thought while nearing the willow tree by the lake.

As I near her, my heart skipped a beat in just one moment. This really is a challenge for me… I know I **should** do it. But **can **I do it? What should I say? How should I say it?

She is beautiful, with her perfect silky hair and her captivating brown orbs that could make you fall in love with her in a matter of seconds. Her soft lips, how many times have I dreamed about her soft pink lips to be touched with my own…?

I want to hold her in my arms, never letting her go… Until all---

"No!!!" my mind shouted, going back to reality. I have turned crimson red and I breathed in the air to calm myself down. Although I love her, I'm still her best friend. Stop acting stupid, Ruka! She needs comfort and she needs a friend to help her.

Normal P.O.V.:

"Right, she needs me…" Ruka said to himself. He walked closer to Mikan's spot and saw how her tears could be so beautiful, even with the full bright moon beaming on her beautiful figure.

"_I fell in love with this girl, and I promised to protect her, care for her and love her"_, Ruka thought.

Ruka was already behind Mikan by this time and he gently placed his hand on her shoulder. Mikan suddenly faced t the person who just disturbed her in her deep thoughts and was surprised to find out who it was.

"R-Ruka? W-what are you doing here late at night? (Sniff)" Mikan said to him. Realizing that she was crying a while ago and that her cheeks were still stained with tears, she quickly turned away and wiped the remaining tears.

"This seat taken?" Ruka asked Mikan. She shook her head in response and Ruka sat himself down beside her. Mikan still turned away from the sight of Ruka and Ruka just looked at the lake in front of him and was just mesmerized by the reflection of the moon on the lake. There was a light breeze at first, and then he just watched Mikan from the side of his eye. Then followed by a long silence.

Mikan had a long sigh then started to break the silence. "Um, Ruka, what are you doing here so late at night?" she began. "I come here every night when I can't seem to sleep or I have something deep in thought" Ruka started, "This happens to be my favorite place in the academy…"Ruka then faced Mikan, " Well, what are **you** doing here, Mikan?" Ruka asked her.

"_Oh no! I just knew he was going to ask me that! I can't tell him the truth! I'll just make him even MORE worried!" Mikan thought, "But, Ruka is my best friend, I should trust him, but I'll tell him when the right time comes, not now, he might tell Natsume about it, but he might also help me feel better, I need that more than anything right now…"_ Mikan thought.

Mikan was about to open her mouth but Ruka didn't even give her a chance to say anything. "Oh, I'm sorry; you don't have to answer me if it's too personal. I understand…" Ruka said this and gave her a gentle and reassuring smile.

"Ruka, I'm sorry…" Mikan faced him. _"Ruka, you really are a great friend I could ever have, you were always there for me and you understand me…thank you very much, but somehow, I still feel guilty for not telling you, I want to tell you, that was what my heart says to me…"_, Mikan thought. "…And thank you…" Mikan said to Ruka. "You don't have to apologize! It's okay! You're welcome…" Ruka said to her.

"_I just wished I could've been more than just to be friends with you…" _Ruka thought, _"But we both know that wouldn't happen, right?"_

"You now though, Mikan, talking to someone about your problem can make you feel better, even just loosening the burden a bit and the weight you feel in your heart…" Ruka said to her. "You really think so, Ruka?" Mikan asked him. "I know so, Mikan… you can tell me, you can TRUST me…" Mikan was convinced by her best friend's words and she decided to tell him since she knows she can trust him in everything, but she can't help herself show a slight pink color in her cheeks.

"So will you listen to me, Ruka?" Mikan asked him. "I'm all ears right now, Mikan." Ruka said,_ "And my heart is prepared for the worst…"_ he thought.

"Don't tell anybody about what I'm going to tell you, okay? Especially Natsume…" Mikan told him. Ruka put one hand in the hair and said the oath that only Mikan and Ruka can use whenever they have to swear a promise, "Cross my heart and hope to croak drop an eye ball in my Coke, if I lie I will choke." Ruka stated the oath with a warm smile on his face.

Mikan giggled a bit, _"That's Ruka for you, he knows how to make you feel good" _she thought. "Good.", Mikan then turned to look at the lake. Then she closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air of the forest. Ruka just looked at her in admiration for just a few minutes then looked at the lake with her. Crickets chirped to the rhythm and beat of Ruka and Mikan's heart beat giving them a peaceful silence.

Mikan opened her eyes. "Well, I'm sure you've noticed my behavior over the past week, right, Ruka?" Mikan asked him even without facing him. "Well, yeah, but your not the only person who's been acting strangely" Ruka said in almost a whisper. "Did you say something, Ruka?" Mikan then faced Ruka. Ruka sweat dropped, "Oh, it's nothing, really, he he…" Ruka said to her. "Well, okay…" Mikan then turned back to the lake. Ruka sighed in relief, _"Better be careful with my words…" _he thought. Then he turned back to the lake.

"Well the reason why I was acting so gloomy these days was because of an event that occurred…" she started. _"Here goes…your bringing on this heart break, Mikan…" _Ruka thought and listened attentively to Mikan. "I haven't told you this before, Ruka, it was because I wasn't so sure and a lot of things had gone wrong… There was Hotaru leaving and me, turning back to being a no-star again… Then there was this feeling coming up that I have never encountered before…" Mikan paused and clutched her chest, _"Don't cry now, Mikan, you've already cried enough for him…"_ Mikan thought to herself. "Last week, I've realized my feelings for…" Mikan then moved her knees closer to her chest, "…Natsume". That very moment, Ruka's eyes then turned dark with no life at all. _"It just took a moment to say his name, a moment to make me break down…A name, of her own lover, one name, just one…" _Ruka thought in his own darkness inside of him.

"And I just couldn't hold it any longer and I decided-to-to… sniff" Mikan then stopped and covered her mouth while the tears just couldn't hold back. Ruka got back to his senses and realized her pain… "Then you decided to tell him, didn't you?" Ruka said to her with a kind voice. Mikan nodded in reply. "I see, it's okay, I get the picture, it's all right, and be a strong girl…" Ruka patted her back gently in comfort. Mikan sobbed then turned to Ruka and hugged him, for she can't take the even longer.

"I-I'm… going to… cry, u-until my, sob, eyes p-pop out! I can't stand it!" Mikan sobbed at Ruka's polo. Ruka then hugged Mikan in return and held her in his arms a bit tighter. "Shh… It's all right, cry until you get a little better…" Ruka said to her. "Nobody will love me! I'm just so UGLY!!! This love fantasy is just a dumb dream that won't come---"Mikan was then surprised to see that Ruka has closed the gap between them and placed his own lips on hers. Her eyes were wide open but a few moments later she then gave in to the gentle kiss and closed her eyes.

"_Ru…ka?"_ Mikan thought. Ruka did it. He kissed her. _"I'm kissing the woman I love, this is my unforgettable moment…ever," _Ruka thought. After a few seconds that seemed like eternities, Ruka broke the kiss and his eyes were showing care and love. Mikan then opened her eyes and blushed. _"Ruka?"_ she thought.

"That's not true, Mikan, I'm sure someone would love you, your beauty is always so captivating and your personality would always be so pure…I should know because…I love you, Mikan…more than you'll ever know, you're the only person who could make me feel this way…"Ruka said to her. "Although you would never feel the same way about me…" he thought. "Ruka, I…" Mikan looked away and still felt her cheeks warm. _"My heart is beating so fast, I can't think, and this feeling whenever I'm with Natsume, I feel much more lighter with this feeling now…"_ Mikan thought.

Ruka's eyes were now covered by his bangs, "I just wanted to hold you in my arms forever Mikan…" Ruka said to her and suddenly got up. "But I guess, that can never be, can't it?" Ruka looked at Mikan and gave her a sad smile.

"Ruka I don't know…I just don't know anymore!" Mikan got up and ran away from him. _"Tears are just flowing once again why can't they stop!? No more! I just can't think straight anymore!"_ Mikan shouted in her mind.

Ruka's P.O.V.

I looked at the ground… I just let her slip away from me…her tears…her EVERYTHING…all that was left was…

…The PAIN and TEARS I shed…

… Just for HER…

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Finally done! P-chan is tired right now, aren't you, P-chan? (zZzZzZzZzZ) Sigh, oh well!

Okay, everybody! If I don't get at least 5 or more reviews, P-chan would be roasted and this story will too! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(OINK!!!)


	3. The Loss for Words

I'm so sorry for the late update! P-Chan kind of accidentally had a hot bath and turned back to Ryo-kun!!! Then he ran away…sniff... I don't know why he would leave me! I'm going to get him back! He might be in another country right now! Ryo-kun has a bad sense of direction! Oh, I am so worried! (Getting overcoat and my extra-large net) Ryoga, mama's coming!

Thank you for all the reviews, guys! Love yah all! Please keep them up, flames are most appreciated. Now time for you all to relax and read this chapter while I go off to the dark night and look for my slave—I mean pet!!! Got to go!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice, but I do love Ruka!

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Chapter 3: The Loss for Words

I sit back and leaned on the big willow tree with a sigh… Man, that's totally not the best thing to do, Ruka, I mean, you just ended up making her confused and let her run off like that… "_It was worth a try there"_… huh?

I turned around and thought that I sensed another presence… Must have been nothing, GREAT! Now I'm getting crazy, I love her, I really do, but the feeling was blinding me, I didn't even notice how hurt she is now. Because of my foolishness, I lost my precious best friend who means the world to me!!! Now, my pride is telling me to stay and be silent for people might know that I just made a fool of myself in confessing to the girl I love and then never got a straight answer.

I sat up and looked at the ground, then at my hands. "What's wrong with me!? I call myself as a man?! I'm such a failure! Letting her go like that and just make her even more hurt than before!", I punched the ground several times with big blows never noticing the pain, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" Then lying back at the trunk, I panted hard and looked up at the stars. My fist was already scratched deep and I was so tired.

What now? Usually, I would be comforting her because she was hurt for another reason. But this time, I AM the reason she's crying… I would always ask for help, but it was always Natsume and sometimes Imai would help unwillingly. Should I really turn to Natsume for help? I can't, I can't just tell him about it, he'll just end up even more furious, knowing that I caused Mikan to suffer. This is my own problem, I caused it, and I should be the one to fix my relationship with her. I don't need his help. But will she ever forgive me?

I wonder where she is right now? Hun, she is most probably thinking that I'm so stupid and that I should never had met her. Unfortunately for her, I never did regret that I met her, I'm so grateful that I did…

…She was the most important and greatest thing that ever happened to me…

I still remember her most silly smile, well, to Natsume at least, but I thought it was the most beautiful and warmest smile I have ever seen. I was supposedly the most surprised when I first knew I was in love with her. Of course, the first person who told me **that** was the ever most reliable, Imai. She kept on blackmailing me whenever Mikan would pass by or make a gesture that would make me blush crimson red. You might all be thinking that "if this boy really loves her, then he wouldn't mind being the laughing mistake all over the world!", I don't blame you, I thought about that too. But I was such a naïve little boy and I thought it wasn't really a good time to let her know yet. I ended up thinking about that for five years…

"Oh, Mikan, if only you gave me a chance to show you how much I really love and care for you, I could die happy." I said to the stars above. How funny, there a lot of girls that could just fall on me but it seems I just can't get this one. Well Mikan is not a thing at all, she's more than that.

As I was just reminiscing the past, the times I have been with her, I never realized that there **was **someone in the place. When I heard a twig snap, that's when my alarm got off. "Who's there!?" I suddenly stood up and looked around the place. "You there, behind that tree!" I was furious, could that person have seen what just happened? This is not good. This is just great, right after you think that no one would know about this, the next minute they just saw the whole thing and spread the news. I'm not going to let that happen. "Well? Show yourself!!" I said to the intruder.

-------------------------------------------------------

The intruder stepped into the moon's light and faced him. Ruka widened his eyes in surprise, he just wouldn't believe who it was he just shouted at and thought badly about just a while ago.

"Ruka, what are you doing here at this time of night?" Ruka just stood there frozen in his place and was afraid of what will happen next. The person's piercing eyes just looked at him in suspicion and raised an eyebrow as if to say that he was hiding something that he needed to know. Ruka finally got back into place and said back to him, "Well, I don't need to hide this any longer, you do have a right to know about this too, right? I mean you are my best friend." Ruka then smirked at him, "or do I not need to explain since the person in front of me knew every detail of what just happened?" There was a long pause.

"This is not really like you, Ruka…Hn, but I don't know what your talking about" Natsume said looking at the lake. "Don't lie to me! I know you've seen everything." Natsume smirked at this point. "Maybe I did…" Ruka received a cold glare from him, "…and maybe I didn't". He then smiled warmly at him, "Either way, I won't tell…" he smirked. Ruka then gave him a smile, "But seriously, did you see anything?" Natsume shrugged in response. "Its not my business, so why should I care?" Natsume then turned to leave. Ruka knowing that he was about to leave quickly pulled his sleeve still wanting to ask him a question.

"But, wait a minute, Natsume, what's with you these past weeks? Something bothering you or something?" Ruka quickly asked him. "Don't need to worry, Ruka, it was just an annoying problem I had to take care of…" _"…And I just failed in the end… Ruka, she's hurt 'cause of me, I'm giving you a chance this time but…"_ Natsume thought. Ruka getting the picture nodded in response and understood everything perfectly that he didn't want to talk about it at all and is not ready to tell him yet. _"You must've had a hard time to recuperate, Natsume"_ Ruka thought then he let go of Natsume's sleeve and looked at the sky. Natsume then turned back at him and started walking away.

"Hey" Natsume stopped walking and suddenly spoke to Ruka. Ruka suddenly got back at his attention to Natsume, "yeah?" Ruka replied. "Don't you have a problem to solve too?" Natsume asked him without facing him. Ruka was taken aback and didn't respond. "Hmph" Natsume responded to Ruka's silence. Ruka suddenly realized of what Natsume said and then he looked at Natsume with surprise and just stuttered, "Natsume, you—". "Just go, and find her", Natsume cut him off. Ruka nodded in response and ran away to look for her.

"_Natsume, thanks" _Ruka thought while running. Back in the lake, Natsume was in deep of thought. _"It might not have been the best decision to let you search for her, but… next time, _**It'll be my chance next…**_"_,Natsume thought while looking at his retreating figure until he was gone, then he began going back with a smirk on his face that never seems to go away until he was there in his big warm bed.

…**Mikan, wait for me…**

…**Hold on, I'm coming…**

The two young men both thought different words, but were both thinking of the same reason why they thought that, because they both cared and loved the 'idiot' they know.

I arrived in front of an old abandoned cottage in the forest. I don't know how long I have been running, but I don't really care, as long as I can find a place to depart from **all**. ALL the problems and ALL the pain I'm in right now. **He** might not care what happens to me, but **he **might, I just need to be alone, I always had been alone.

But, do I really want to be staying in this situation for the rest of my life? Always running away? I'm just so confused right now! I have been crying for **him **for quite a long time already, but this time, I'm just so unsure why…

Oh I wish grandpa was still alive right now. He would know what to do. But it's too late to ask help from him right now.

Right now, I run out of tears to shed. Its all I can do right now, cry… but I'm too tired to think right now… I lie down on a stack of hay in the corner of the cottage and fell in a deep sleep full of dreams, dreams that someone had been calling me and that someone had loved me and needed me for a very long time.

And as I dreamed, I still wondered if that person has been worried for me and had been searching for a long time… I wish that would be true…

… but it must be just one of my dreams…

---------------------------------------

"Mikan!" I have been looking for her for a long time now, but I never seem to get tired. Its just a strong will of mine to find her and take her to safety in my arms. "Mikan!" I said once again, never hearing a response from her. I have looked for her in all the usual places, but I guess it seems like she never wanted to be found, but I care deeply for her that I wouldn't mind searching the whole universe for her.

It began to rain. Damn, I hope she hasn't passed out in the ground. I have got to look for her faster. "Mikan! Are you around here!?" I should never lose hope, I have once, and I don't want that to happen again!

I then saw a small cottage full of vines, I ran to it then called her name again, there was no response, but I had this feeling my answer was beyond that door in front of me. So I had no choice but got in.

I had finally spotted the angel that had just ran away from me, and I'm never letting her go in that sort of pain ever again. I then promised there and then. I ran to her, not minding that I was wet from the rain and hugged her softly and called out her name in a gentle voice.

Her eyes fluttered open and my eyes met hers. Right there and then, tears were coming up in her eyes and surprised me when she embraced me back, I gently tightened the hug and kissed her head and patted her back for now she is back in my arms, and it doesn't matter for how long, and what she thinks of it, as long as I can hold her like this.

…There, we were both silent, as if we were at loss for words for comfort or anything at all…

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WaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaHhhhhh!!!! (Crying in a dark corner) I lost Ryo-kun and my dear P-chan! I need comfort! (Turns to readers and showing a snotty face) **sniff** you can comfort me by giving me reviews, at least five or even more would be fine… Flames are highly appreciated… Your reviews can give me strength too! So thank you for reading this chapter!


	4. Guilt and Lies

What's happening? Why am I so sad? Why has my sudden world of happiness is gone in just a few days? …Now, I remember…

Anyway, people, get on with the reading of this chapter that I poured my sadness into… I don't mind if anybody didn't review in my story, besides who would even want to review in this story of mine anyway? It's not worth it… I don't care anymore…

I write stories because this is the only thing I have right now… to express myself…

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice… obviously…

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Chapter 4: Proven With Guilt and Lies

Its dark, very dark, but I can feel warmth, good warmth around me. I wish it won't go away, please don't. You're the only thing that's good so far in this sorrowful life of mine. I don't ever want to live anymore, but, if I can hold on and embrace the warmth forever, I would have hoped to live my life.

…If only… this warmth was **him**…

These are all lies anyway, I've been living in a lie, I'm not even sure anymore if this is all the truth, this event, the people I know, this whole life…

… I can't seem to **trust** anyone now…

…I'm tired… so tired…

… Whoever has warmth like this I'm feeling now…

… Bless this person's soul… Thank you…

I wonder though, if this person is alone and is feeling being kept up in the darkness, who does he turn to? _"I must open my eyes, to seek the truth, if it is true, the image will stay for more than five seconds" _I thought.

I tried very hard to open my eyes, but it seems like I have a big burden to even lift up one eyelid… the moment I first felt the warmth, I immediately opened my eyes by instinct. All I saw was a pair of glimmering lights, that seem to remind me of the bright moon in twilight. The moon… the lake… and… that person… I groaned in frustration and confusion by just even thinking about it.

Somehow I felt the unknown person's hold on me getting a bit tighter, I guess he must have thought that I'm about to wake up, he must be expecting me to open my eyes and finally look in the light, the light of the new day…

A new day, a new day to start over, a new day to have a chance of forgetting the past and into the future…

If that person longs for me to see the light, which I doubt though, I would have to hope with him, so I can finally realize what it feels like to finally be able to see for myself what does the light feels like.

And yet, if can look into the future, there will **always **be traces of the past… the scars, the tears, and the darkness still left within my heart…

"Once again, I must try to open these eyes of mine, please, no more darkness!" I shouted in my mind. I am determined to face it all, as long as I will know this person who has those eyes with light and hope in them, I also must know, if he is real, if he is not a lie!

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The lady opened her eyes with effort, and finally opened, Ruka flinched in surprise when Mikan responded to his hug. Then he distanced himself to look at her.

"Are you the person, who wants me to see the light?" Mikan asked him. Her vision was blurry, but she can still see a silhouette of a man kneeling before her. _"I must see if he is real" _Mikan thought.

One… He's not yet gone… 

_Two… is he real?_

_Three… My eyesight has been starting to get better_

_Four… is he an angel?_

_Five… Who is this person?_

Ruka was startled by what she said. He was then out of his thoughts for a moment.

"He **is **real" Mikan murmured to herself. She placed her hands out to him with hesitation, but she still held her hands to him and held his face.

Ruka came back to his senses and has turned slightly pink due to her sudden gesture. "It's dark, so I can't see you, but I'm sure you're filled with warmth and light in you…" Mikan started, "I'm so glad you're real." Ruka was at loss for words on what to say, and thought for a moment, _"If she recognizes me, she might get upset again. But I must let her know"_. Ruka held both of her hands that were placed in his cheeks and kissed them.

Mikan quietly gasped and blushed at his sudden gesture. "… Are you the person who wants me to see the light?" Mikan shyly asked him again.

The moon has peeked over the window of the cottage and has shown over to the couple. In the moon's light, Mikan can see the whole figure of the "stranger".

Mikan gasped in realization of who it was. Mikan was about to loosen and remove her hands from Ruka's grip but Ruka kept his hold on Mikan's hands. "I **want **to be the person who wants you to see the light" Ruka whispered to her suddenly, "If you could let me…". Mikan was silenced by his words and unwillingly blushed in the process. "I also hope to be the one to love you, the one beside you, and to be the one who you love…" Ruka whispered to her gently, close to her right ear.

"I-I, R-Ruka…" Mikan stuttered. _"He's the one, the one who might let me see the light again and would be the one who would make me feel good inside, but…"_ Mikan thought, _"My heart still belongs to someone else…"_

"I-I'm sorry…" Mikan closed her eyes then Ruka finally let go of her hands. "Oh, I… I'm sorry, that must have…" Ruka pulled away from her and looked away. Ruka shut his eyes tightly closed and slowly stood up.

Mikan placed her hands to her chest and looked at the hay she was sitting on. "I'm still confused about this Ruka, I need time to cool off and clear up my head, a lot has been happening lately…" Mikan said to him. "O-of course, I'm sorry if I've added another problem to you---" Ruka was cut off by Mikan.

Mikan whispered a "no" to him and shook her head then looked back Ruka's retreating figure. "You helped me out a little today, despite the… things…" Mikan looked away and turned slightly pink. _"My heart, this feeling of warmth, it makes me feel so safe… is this feeling, caused by **him**?"_ Mikan thought.

"Thank you…" Mikan looked up at him. "Mikan, I should be the one thanking you…" Ruka mouthed the words without Mikan noticing, never hearing him.

Ruka looked back at Mikan and said "You're welcome, besides, we're still best friends!" Ruka said to her, giving her one of his smiles. _"I have to hide the sadness I don't want you to blame yourself saying that you make all the people, your precious loved ones sad, that's why I smile, only for you…"_ Ruka thought.

Ruka got closer to Mikan and held out his hands to her. "Shall we go back?" Ruka asked her, smiling. Mikan nodded in reply, "Ruka… I will… think about it…" Mikan felt her cheeks very warm. Ruka paused, his eyes were covered by his hair, hiding his features as well and then he nodded in reply. _"I can wait, I **can **wait for her, even if it takes forever for her to give me the answer…" _Ruka thought.

"Let's go then." Ruka smiled at her. "Right." Mikan nodded and took his hand.

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We both went out of the cottage, holding each other's hand. Outside the cottage, the whole surrounding had a scent that reminded me of night rain, the night sky had all the stars shimmering down on us and the stars and the moon were the only things that can guide us in our way. The wind was breezing in a cold manner, but the warmth between us kept us from feeling cold.

"Ruka?" she calls my name. "Hm?" I replied while still walking back to the dormitories. "Can I sleep with you tonight?…Your dormitory is much more closer, and I don't want to go alone…," she said while she looked at me.

"You can," I said in my teasing voice, "but you **may** not…" I smiled, looking at her pouting face. "Meanie," she called me. I chuckled at her, _"No wonder Natsume teases her_ _a lot, it's fun… and she's so cute."_

"Fine then, **may** I sleep with you tonight?" she said while making a funny face that's supposed to mean she was pissed. "Sure, you may…" I smiled at her. "Yay!" she smiled at me and squeezed my hand a little.

"What is it?" I asked her. "Promise me, don't let go of my hand, until we get into your room at least…" she told me then looked at the night sky.

I blushed by what she said, and gave her hand a little squeeze in response.

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Mikan was still holding Ruka's hand during walking in the path of the forest.

When they arrived to the boys' dormitory, all was silent, the crickets were still chirping, but there were a lot of fireflies flying around the front garden.

Mikan suddenly went in front of Ruka and placed her right hand on his shoulder. "Let's dance for a while, okay? It'll be fun…," Mikan smiled at him. Ruka blushed in surprise, but nodded.

The couple then started twirling around the garden happily. They danced around the fountain with the fireflies around, dancing with them.

"_Dancing with her like this, makes me the happiest man in the universe…,"_ Ruka thought, while smiling with her. "I didn't know you can dance well, Mikan," Ruka complimented, making her blush. Mikan giggled at him, "Why, thank you, sir," she said while doing a curtsy.

"Shall we go in now, my lady?" Ruka said bowing then holding out his elbow to her. "Yes, thank you for that lovely dance." Mikan said to him while walking in the dormitory, holding his hand.

We walked into the room, still hand-in-hands, and opened the door gently. I finally felt a whole new feeling, a feeling of home in his room, but I can't help but think about it…

…**His question, a whole new decision…**

…**My heart must make a decision…**

…**I…I am still confused…**

Ruka laid me down to his bed. He kissed my forehead like a mother, then gently pulled away. I quickly pulled his sleeve, "Where are you going to sleep Ruka?" I asked him, feeling sleepy. "Well, I'm just going to change... I'll sleep in the couch, you can sleep here," he told me.

Mikan pulled a bit harder on his sleeve, "No, sleep with me here." She whispered to him. Ruka was taken back.. Ruka's bangs covered his features and nodded. Mikan let go of him and felt her eyelids getting heavier.

Ruka went to the closet and changed. After, he went to the bed where a lady is half-sleeping, he held her hand and kissed it, then climbed up to the bed beside her, both now sleeping…

…**While the other is yet to have a dream…**

* * *

I'm done, that is all for this chapter, I doubt if I'll ever get reviews… ever. Anyway, this is all pointless, but I'm continuing this story just for him… 


	5. Wings

I feel so happy that I got reviews for my chapters that I want to continue and I want you to let you all know that my mood has been a bit good lately, so you could flame me, but it's okay if you guys don't really want to review! I've been acting like a real drama queen lately that I want to say sorry for my attitude. I would like to thank the ones who all reviewed me! And I finally got my first flame! I'm so happy! Now I can finally improve my writing skills, I promise to make my story more unique and put more power in it! Thank you very much for the one who flamed me! (Smile) Oh, and if you find some of the characters OOC, then that's all right, because its really supposed to be a Fan FICTION…

I would like to thank the person who is reading this right now…

Trivia: I based on this chapter on the event when I fell down from riding my bike and when I scratched my knee and hurt my foot (that bled).

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice… period… infinity…

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Chapter 5: On the Wings of Memories and Tears

Am I asleep? But it seems I can't sleep yet, I'm just too conscious that **she **is here right beside me on the only place I would call **home**. The warm feeling of her body keeps me awake for time to time. If I could stay silent, I would already hear the soft and rhythmic beating of her heart. Its so surprising for me that I'm so close to her than ever right now, just imagine, for the whole night we would stay like this until the sun would rise and greet us for another day.

I see her chest slowly going up and down, with the rhythm of my breathing with hers; it makes me feel so relaxed… I then slowly drift off to sleep, knowing that I could protect her from the darkness as she is beside me here right now.

I caressed her cheek, trying not to disturb her deep slumber… Her warmth… Her pink rosy lips… Those soft lips…

Slowly… I fall into a deep sleep…

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**Pant**… **Pant**… **Running**… **Running**… **Darkness**… **The endless path**… **The Loneliness**…

I can see nothing… Where am I? What kind of cruel world is this!? "Mikan! Are you here!? Natsume! Is anybody here?…. At all?" What is this? Why am I seeing myself as a little boy? _"Usugi! Are you here? Its time for us to eat! Time to stop playing! I don't want to play in this forest!"_ Isn't this the same forest where I got lost in my old village where I used to live? _N-no… this c-can't be… I don't want to come back, never again! _I quickly covered my eyes, hoping to never see **IT **again…

I saw myself going to the same horrid path, hoping that I would finally see the main path and go home. Usugi and I were playing hide and seek, but it seems that our game had been unexpected and Usugi left me behind in the forest without my noticing about his leaving. I had my most shocking and haunting experience in that cursed forest, so I hid it all away in my unwanted memories, never knowing that it would start going back up again, leaving tracks with the rest of those memories.

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"_Sigh, I'm starting to think Usugi left me… this forest is so scary…I hope this path would finally lead home…" I said while I was searching for Usugi. "Usugi! If I find you, you're in **BIG **trouble!!!"I shouted in annoyance. _

_I stopped dead in my tracks. I felt a big shiver down my whole body that told me that **someone was watching me… **But who could it be? I heard the rustling of the strong wind, beginning to come back to reality; I started to walk once again trying hard to convince myself that the thoughts of mine were just my imagination…_

… **_Still, I _could _be wrong myself…_**

_For some reason, my heart started to pound hard as if it was going to pop out of my body any second. I heard a cry from the woods and got startled for it was a loud cry as if the person was suffering a deep pain in her heart. Sensing that someone was in trouble, I rushed to the voice in the deeper part of the woods. _

_I actually forgot my fears and concentrated in finding the troubled person. When I heard it very close by, I started to run faster and saying, "Hold on! I'm here to—,"I stopped shouting and gasped for what I saw. I felt my heart skipped a beat; my knees started to tremble from the sight…_

_I saw there, in the heart of the deep forest, a hideous sight of a lady, wearing a dress full of blood, her face showed that she was crying, but she didn't have eyes at all, the spaces where there was supposed to be having eyes, were instead having disgusting worms lying inside. I looked at her dress and can see she was actually stabbed to death, guessing that she wanted to take revenge. Her long, dirty flowing brown hair covered most of her body, but not covering much of her pitiful, horrid looking body, just enough to see deep scars that she had on her arms._

_The moment I saw the lady, she was staring right back at me, shocking me with her frightful appearance. My hands started to tremble when she made a small gesture, she lifted her upper hand, as if she was reaching out to me for help, but instead I reacted with a step back from her. The ghost started to crawl to me; my mind started to shout, telling me to start running away, but I was stuck there in my place. When she was in a close distance, she started to lift her head up to see my face, I stayed silent, trying to show no fear, but my acting was a failure._

_When she raised her head up for me to see, I gasped in surprise for she stared at me full of anger and hatred. She started to murmur something, but I never knew what the ghost was trying to say._

_The ghost lady suddenly grabbed my arm and started to pull hard on my arm with her sharp long nails starting to dig in deeper and deeper in to my skin in every moment that passed by. I screamed in indescribable pain, feeling my arm oozing out blood. I tried to pull away, but each struggle made it even more painful. But I had to escape from her clutches._

_I pulled away despite of the fact that I knew how painful it would be. When I finally broke free, I ran for my dear life. I held on to my bleeding arm and felt deadly tired. But I had to run… I knew that she's still after me… **blood**… the red poison that could leave scars in my soul forever…_

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From here, I saw the first time I cried… I've realized how weak I was… how very weak and hopeless… I'm still weak until now… I could never protect anybody so what's the difference? I could never protect Natsume… Or Mikan… Might as well give up…

When I was finally tired, I dropped dead from all the exhaustions, the emotions, and the memory and the blood and tears I shed. Making them flow back into my heart, haunting my dreams and making the scars I feel get deeper…

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I woke up sitting upright in my bed breathing hard and beads of sweat in my forehead and eyebrow. I was widely awaked that I decided that I'm not able to sleep that night again… That lady… She had the face of…

"Ruka? What's wrong? You had a nightmare?" Mikan asked me, while looking worried.

"…_**Mikan…"**_

"Uh… I'm all right now; I'm just really hot… I'll get a glass of water for a minute…" I said while getting off the bed. "Do you want me to get it for you?" Mikan asked me, still looking worried, "Nah, its okay." I faked a smile; assuring her that I was all right, "You should get to sleep then…" my voice may sound calm to her, yet inside, I'm still full of fear…

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Mikan went a step closer to Ruka and gently reached for his shoulder, at once, Ruka shoved her hand away from him and continued walking to the bedroom door. "Ruka? Why…?" Mikan whispered to herself, never knowing that Ruka actually heard her and was heartbroken at this point. _"Ruka, why do I feel like you don't care anymore and that you've left me?", _Mikan thought. "Ruka? Please answer me, I feel like your going to leave me… Please don't…" Mikan looked at his retreating back slowly reaching the doorknob.

"Listen, Mikan, I can't stay with you no longer…" Ruka said to her with his expression showing no emotions at all, _"Who are you? You're not the Ruka I know… Ruka is…is he standing here in front of me? This is not Ruka; he wouldn't treat me this way…"_Mikan thought

Mikan suddenly gave him a weak smile showing him in her eyes that she was trying hard to hold back the tears threatening to fall. "Y-you're just joking right, R-Ruka? You wouldn't do this to me, you wouldn't leave me, you promised me to protect and care for me… you said that you…"

Mikan stopped in her last sentence for she was already letting tears fall down her red cheeks from the recent pressure.

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I was there standing with the boy I knew from the very first day when I set foot on the academy, usually I would see him with the most gentle smile that would even make people who are even in the most troubled problem have hope. But it's not him, this boy, is not my friend at all. But it **is **he. Right now, he has the coldest stare I have ever seen that even makes me shiver in his own stare. I covered my mouth from talking and was surprised on what I was about to say…

"You said that…you loved me… But right now, I'm thinking this is a lie" 

This is so alike from the other situation, but somehow, this hurts a lot more, is it because I was much more closer to Ruka than… Natsume? That's not it… But I'm still not sure…

I walked closer to him and pulled his shirt and I bravely looked into his eyes. "Do you really want to leave me? At least tell me…w-why…" I said to him. He then looked down on me, letting me clearly see his lifeless eyes that made me shudder for a moment just looking at them. He nodded and I unwillingly let go of his shirt.

**Making him move a step far away from me, from my life.**

"I have to, Mikan, I'm not able to protect you anymore, I'm sorry but… I must." Ruka told me with a straight face, without letting me sense any emotion in his voice at all. As he moves to open the door and get even far away from me, I stay frozen in my place, confused and most of all…

I felt like my heart was crushed in a million of pieces, like it was impossible to get the pieces back together; I was heartbroken.

"_Run, Mikan! Make him understand that you want him to stay! Never mind the reasons, he's still your best friend… **My best friend**…" _With that last word in my mind; that even triggered a lot more questions in my mind than there was before. I want to come after him, but my legs were still stuck on the floor, stuck as my expression written all over my face, caused by his pitiful and if what my heart is telling me is right,** scared **face.

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Here I am once again, running away from it all, just like what I was doing ever since in the past. I'm a weakling, I will never be a brave knight, where his sworn duty is to save his princess, but what if that certain knight is I? I would never fulfill that duty, I would never be able to face her ever again since all I do is hurt her, and so I run away… I'm a scared halfwit. Never to be called as a real "man".

I step into the darkness, the darkness I must face, without any help at all, the darkness that only Natsume and I have in our hearts… **hopelessness**. But this will never change my feelings for you, Mikan, I still love you… But people will never understand how much I'm sacrificing just to wish for your happiness, if only I could turn back time, I would avoid meeting you, just to heal this pain I'm feeling right now… if only…

…**I was the one you would understand and cherish…**

There are a lot of boys who would love you, but I've already seen that you have chosen "The One" for you… That is why I have decided to leave you… I'll make you realize how much Natsume needs you more than me, although I would see for myself that I need you right now.

In your eyes, you would forever see me as Ruka, your best friend… but that would never be… Because, I will never learn how to let you go, how to bear the fact that your love belongs to somebody else… that is why we can no longer be friends any longer, if I get closer to you, I would lose control… I would lose all my sense and I would lose all my power, I get weak, It is not only the thought of what would happen if I love you any longer, at the same time, I am afraid… that lady, the pitiful look she has, and yet, she haunts me all night, my whole soul is swallowed by her own lifeless body.

**For I am cursed in her own clutches**

And so I walk through the whole dawn in the forest, seeking serenity and solitude from her. Until I am ready to face Natsume and **her **again, I will have to seek atonement for my own sin and this damn curse I have right now. I must seek my purpose in this world of darkness I have.

The willow tree sways with the whole rhythm of the crickets chirping and I am once again alone.

My decision, is to give up my love, and do whatever it takes to stay in the back and try to make the love between **Natsume** and my **lost blossom** finally bloom… Until I'm ready to face them with a whole new face, a face that can show no more fear.

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early that morning, Mikan was still smitten by the fact Ruka left and has stayed in the bedroom, kneeling on the bed, weeping until the crack of sunrise. She promised to her dear Lord that night that she would forever be brave and asked for His dear strength to face the day with a new façade nobody would recognize, a silent façade that could cleverly hide all her fears from **him**. He, being said by others to be "The One" for her, and yet, has no trust in others no longer.

"…_**Why? Ruka, why does it have to end this way? Every day, there always seems to have a great twist between us; if this is fate, might as well see what it has in store for our lives, Ruka, take care…"**_

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This is the end of the chapter, I would like to conclude something, I ama drama queen! Hahahaha! Never mind, just tell me all honestly what you think about this chapter, if you want me to continue this story of mine, I would like to receive at least 5 reviews, that's enough for me, anyway. So please don't be afraid to speak up! Flames are great!


	6. Restart Button

Thank you very much for the reviews or suggestions you have sent! (Although you might have sent me messages as reviews telling me to update really soon, its really okay, besides I'm happy to know that you had time to read it) I would like to inform you all that I'm very thankful for you reading this little story I have made, although I am new in I have been feeling quite welcomed in this site, despite the fact you might not know or may know me and hate or like my fic.

_Maraming salamat po!_ (Thank you very much!)

Disclaimer: **I do not own **Gakuen Alice, I never will…

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Chapter 6: The Restart Button

I put on my daily attire early in the morning, in fact so early that nobody has opened their eyes or prepare for their daily routines. The fact of being awake this morning surprises me that I can't even notice the great change in my mood for mornings. Usually, I would never be a person who like mornings, thus, leading to my usual tardiness for classes. The thing that has changed is my act of waking up in mornings, but one thing will never change, deep down inside me, I utterly **hate mornings**… it is obvious **that night still haunts me**, but only subconsciously. I suddenly open my mouth,"Well I actually don't care… at all…"I unwillingly say while brushing my hair. Why…? I roughly shook my head in realization and reluctantly put down my brush. _"He __**will **__come back… I'm sure of that…"_ I reminded myself.

I wash my face with cold water to clear my mind and replace them with priorities to change my whole acts, like pledging it with my own blood... **Blood… the word Ruka keeps on mentioning during having that horrifying dream…** No! I must stay brave and pray for his good being and let him find his ever wanting path… The path he has always being want to walk on, the one that is full of light, where he can take all the people he care the most to lead them to paradise…

As I quietly walk out of my room and go to the kitchen for a small breakfast, conscious of all the other people sleeping soundly, awaiting for daybreak, I notice the overwhelming silence of the hallways, since being used to the smiles and noisy sounds of the other people of the academy make it so surprising. Though, I guess I would have to familiarize it and make it **permanent**. By making this silence I now feel as a **part **of me and move on. While I walk in the cold air through the dull hallways, I can't help but wonder…

…What **path **are you hoping to find…?

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"_A path, Ruka? That's what you want to do after graduation?" I look at him in curiosity and wonder. He smiled and nodded at me as his answer, he then looks at the sunset in front of us," I want to look for a path, that can finally lead to my destiny, a future…"he says with an expression I would never forget._

"_What kind of future are you talking about?" I say with great interest and with some kind of manner that could tell him that our conversation will be never forgotten. "Well, a future that can have peace within my heart… Then, when I do find it…" Without my notice, Ruka cupped my chin and made me look at him straight in the face full of surprise and confusion. "…I'll share it with __**you **__and __**Natsume,**__ with the rest of the people I care deeply…" he smiled at me and let go of my chin. "…" I was speechless by the sudden gesture but then snapped back to my senses with a new idea coming from my "clever" mind._

"_I've decided, then!" I smiled at him and held his shoulder with full of my happy power that caused him to flinch a little with all the sudden action. Ruka sweat dropped with full of surprise and confusion, "If I do find the path you've been looking for, I'll share it with you too! That's a sure promise, Ruka! I'll help you with all of that, I'll help you carry that big burden!" I said with full of determination. "…" Ruka blinked a couple of times with full of awe. "What? HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!" He suddenly laughed causing me, as naive as I am, made a face making my thoughts so predictable. _

"_What's wrong? Was it something I said?" I asked the boy who was still laughing, and making him laughing even more due to my childish question that I have said. I could see that he had tears on the edges of each of his eyes. I then smiled at him and suddenly laughed with him, like we were laughing until the end of the day…_

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I brush off all those laughs away the following months, leading to what I have become today, a **loner**.I walk down to the ever-big kitchen and opened the huge stainless door. I can feel the twilight slowly turning to daybreak, but still feel the moment and times I breathe will stay as slow as the times I have been with **him**. This cold air reminds me of his calm yet cold attitude towards other people. But his flames stay as warm as his presence, his aura being so dreadful to others.

I open the refrigerator to find leftovers from last night's dinner, which still looked good enough to eat. But these thoughts didn't at all came to my mind when all I could think of the upcoming day. _"Would I see him today in class?"_ I thought while eating my cold breakfast, the taste never at all coming to my mind. _"Yet, I can't help myself but doubt it, since people will always expect him to rebel against the whole academy's rules, surely, leading him to even go against the whole academy… But…"_ No! Everybody has a heart and soul, Natsume is just a misunderstood person, he's lost, like a little cat scared of the hard pouring rain and lightning, and yearns for the dear light of the sun.

So this could be the feeling Ruka feels so deeply inside… **The need to protect him**… He's still young, so young to even face the whole darkness himself. I stop in my actions. I have finally realized the message from Ruka's wish that night…

No, that can't be it, Ruka is a smart person, and he **will **stand.

The breakfast was suddenly warm for some strange reason, and then I feel a familiar warmth and feeling. I gasp in realization…_"Could it be?"…_

I turn around to dread at my expectations. _"I… am not sure about this message, but one thing I __**will**__ do for you, Ruka, I will carry on your place for you. No matter how it kills me."_ "Oi. What are you doing here, _Sakura_?" Natsume asked me, ignoring the fact that he just used his power on me. I flinched in realization; the way he called my name was hurtful, just as if he just stabbed me in my neck. **But I will not let that get in the way…** "Ano… I just happened to wake up really early…" I answered him, "…Thanks, by the way…" I say while looking at my steamed breakfast.

"Huh?" he questions me by what I said, I then pointed at my hot soup for my reason, while I could feel that he shrugged in response. From what I could see from my short glance of him, without looking at his face and his upper body, I could see that he was wearing the academy's middle school uniform, his pants full of dirt. When I have finally thought what's wrong with him, I suddenly look up at him to face him, to see if he was fine or hurt at all.

When I looked up, I saw a bruised face and an exhausted one too. All my thoughts were right that he did just came back from another mission and from the looks of his cheek being covered by dirt, blood and sweat, he's gone through a lot of trouble during the mission. I was deadly worried about him. Nothing in my mind stopped me at all when I suddenly stood up and made my hands work like a nurse, trying to ease her patient's pain, with only a handkerchief in my hand, I work with his pain in my mind, trying to think of taking all of his sorrows away.

Although he might be a heartless man, who looks like a god but would never be a proper citizen, "_I still believe he has his own __**special values that could be treasured, being kept in one's own heart"**_That is why I don't hesitate to touch him, even though I might still be afraid of him.

---------------------------------

"You must be hurt, Natsume, I'll help you get cleaned up before classes start…" Mikan told Natsume. Mikan was already dabbing his bruised cheek, Natsume was surprised by her sudden action, but being **the master of masks**, he cleverly hides his embarrassing and surprised reaction, replacing it with a small smirk, despite the pain he feels from the gesture. Natsume suddenly shoves her away from keeping her hold on him.

"Stop touching me, _Sakura_, Its none of your business I'm fine." Natsume boldly said, **trying so hard to push her away once again. **Mikan stopped breathing for a while trying to get all her thoughts back together in place, while taking all his words entering her heart…

"I am not letting you say no to me this time, _Hyuuga._ I'm going to help you, even if it's not worth the time." Mikan bravely said and forcibly dabbed his cheek once again. Natsume's expression was quickly covered by his façade. "Fine have it your way… ow… be a little gentle on that." Natsume complained, while inside, he was proudly wearing a smile, yet still, inside his heart, hides **guilt**.

"_Hyuuga_…" Mikan silently said to herself, but could still be heard by the boy inches close to her. "What is it now…? Ow…" Natsume said tensing his right eye from the bothersome feeling of her handkerchief making contact with his bruise. "Oh did I hurt you? I'm sorry…" Mikan smiled at him then concentrating at her work. "Hey, why'd you call me?" Natsume asked her clearly while looking at her with secret admiration. "Oh? What do you mean?" Mikan asked back at him showing a small tint of pink in her cheeks from the great tension, but never looking back at him.

"A few moments ago you called me by my…" Natsume paused, "…last name… What's up with that?" Mikan then stopped with what she was doing. "Well, I'm done here… You'll be fine, just cover it up with a band aid, so others won't be too worried for you." Mikan quietly said then turned away. She let go of her hold on his face and turned back to the table to wash up her mess, completely ignoring by what he said.

Natsume walked to Mikan and held her shoulder gently from behind. "What is it?" Mikan said from surprise, while looking down at her dishes needed to wash. _"Oh my goodness, he's still so warm…"_ she thought in admiration. "… A few days ago, I hurt you… I just want to say that I want you… to stay at my side…" Natsume unexpectedly said with a straight face, for the first time, he was feeling a mix of _care, guilt, and __**love.**_

"…" Mikan could no longer think of words to say, making the silence fill Natsume's mind build up with great tension, losing his control of holding his façade any longer, replacing his expression with a great shade of red throughout his masks. As he opens his mouth, he can feel his heart with great pumps in every moment that passes by. "When I saw you with Ruka, I had this feeling that I don't understand, but now that I'm with you, I know what it is… believe me, when you said my _other_ name… I was sure of it…" Natsume finished, with truth written all over between the spaces of his words.

Mikan could sense the change of his voice. _"I can feel slight tension in his voice, is this even possible for __**the Natsume Hyuuga**__, the fire caster, or otherwise known as the man people fear, could be feeling embarrassment…? I don't understand… he seems to be much more gentle---" _Mikan gasped in surprise as Natsume turned her face around and made her look at him straight in his deep crimson red eyes, and reveal a desperate, determined and tired face. Alas, this is his pure and true façade nobody has seen, other than Ruka, Mikan has received another shock.

…**This is his true face…**

"I will ask you again, why do you have to say my name in such a manner? I excuse myself for these actions… you can see I still have to find **it**…" Natsume finally said, with dear life and faith on Mikan and dreads her reply. Mikan nodded and slowly says " I… have to… to start all over again that is why we must stay like this first, please understand… this is the best for the two of us… but I will stand by your side, I will help you… because I made a promise to a dear person" Mikan finally finishes her statement, with pure care and love, yet she can not help but feel a mysterious feeling she has yet to understand for herself, but with **him**, by her side, she can finally stop from regretting. All this from the promise she made straight from her heart to the two people who started her new page in life…

Mikan gave him a gentle and pure smile with her response and awaits him to be calm. "… But **we **still have a chance… do we?" he gently asked her with an attentive look. Mikan was stunned by his words. _"My heart is starting to pump so hard, is it… because of him? Why must he confuse me even more?"_ Mikan thought to herself, to her confusion by his words, she starts to stutter at her words, noticing her struggle for words she starts to shed a shade of pink. Natsume silently chuckles at her silliness _"This is Mikan…"_ "Honestly, _Hyuuga_…" Natsume frowns at this and patiently waits for her answer. "I… I don't know…" Mikan finishes, but gives him an encouraging smile,_" I will wait, don't worry…"_

Natsume slowly lets go of her, Mikan being surprised with his actions, thinks that _Hyuuga_ was upset. "Were you really serious about this? I mean… about **us**? Why?" Mikan then holds her hands tightly to the tense atmosphere she is now feeling. "I'm deadly serious, _Sakura_… but if it is best for the both of us to start over then… I will **wait**." Natsume says, wearing another mask, yet this time, it was showing a gentle smile and without looking at her overjoyed smile, was also glowing a deep color of red. Mikan was surprised at this and knew that it was **his** way of agreeing to the decision. _"I'm sure our decision, Natsume, was the right thing to think of… at this point I might be even closer to you right now." _Mikan thought while blushing in happiness.

-----------------------------

Since I thought now would be a good time to start, I bow my head in respect and appreciation. "Ano… Arigatou, Hyuuga…" I say while bowing. I wait for several moments for his response until I can feel a shadow over me.

"_What is he doing now?"_ as I was about to think on what would happen next, Hyuuga suddenly lifted me up and closed the gap between us, I widened my eyes in shock, as he put his arms all around my body and tightened his hold on me. _"A hug? Natsume, what are you doing to me? What are you trying to make me feel?" _I asked myself.

"I could at least get this from you, until then…" he whispered at me. _"…Please stop, your making this even harder to do…" _We shared the hug for moments, moments that we know that would never be forgotten. "…Hyuuga…" I suddenly said. "Call me by my other name, just this once…" he told me. I gasped by what he said, but then decided to do his request, "Natsume… Arigatou…" I then finally part from the hug and gave him a smile.

"Next time though, it'll be more than a hug, look forward to that, _Sakura_…" Natsume said and walked away from the room, leaving with a hint of mystery in his voice.

"Wait a minute…Ah…Pervert!" I blushed in realization and stick my tongue at him as he waved with his form leaving the room. I then smiled and thought that he is the Hyuuga I always knew, he would always be the Hyuuga with the clever tricks hidden in his sleeves. But since this is our decision, I will stay as the natural and the ever-independent lady, someone who would share his burden and the one who would take the place of his friend for now, but I will keep distance, until I am ready and when **he** would finally return to the place he would always belong in the people he cares and loves, as cited in the promise I have sworn to **him**. If you were here right now, I know that you would be giving me one of your old but special smiles. I wish you would be here to share the moment… **Ruka**. Nothing would take your place…

As morning spreads the whole room, I walk out of the kitchen and went back to my bedroom to retrieve my school bag. I noticed others already up out of their beds. When I readily checked my things, I locked my door out.

"M-Mikan? G-good morning, you're really early today." My pink-haired friend greeted me with only her nightdress on. "Ah… yes, it just happens that I have woken up early today, well good day then." I waved at her and continued on my way to the middle school building. I looked back and saw Anna waving back at me, being satisfied, I smiled to myself.

When I have reached the second floor of the dorm, I saw another acquaintance of mine, with a test tube in hand, flinched in surprise then gave me a small smile. I smiled back at Nonoko and mouthing the words "good day". As I went through the first floor of the dorm, I was feeling a sweet sensation tingling through my face as I open the huge doors to exit the dorm. It was the feeling, of a **new day**. I wonder what this day will bring me; will it be a new twist for my **fate**?

The feeling of the wind welcoming me to another day of **smiles**, **laughter** and maybe some more **tears**… But I'm sure I'm ready, Grandpa is watching and he is right here in my heart… Just like all the people who are not here with me in this moment, but somewhere, as I look in the sky… They are all watching over me… I have **faith **in them and they believe in me too…

I walk in the path to the middle school building and look at all the falling leaves as the gentle cold wind blows and welcomes everybody to its arms. Somehow, I have a much more light feeling in my heart that encourages me to smile from ear to ear. I may never find the cause to this and **that **feeling from a while ago, but I won't let this get me down now, but for now… I'll have to enjoy this gift from the wind, sensing this wonderful message from it, telling me "that it will be all right".

…**To me, the wind is saying, things have gone back to normal… but that's for now…**

… **But… I'll be carefree, for now…**

Not for so long, I have finally arrived to my destination, or should I say… "The place where the adventure starts!" I say while suddenly rushing up the spacious stairs of the building. I stopped at the room "Class I-B" I say out loud. I suddenly heard footsteps coming my way, I looked at the direction of the source of the sounds, "… What?… I must be hallucinating…" I shrugged and took a step back.

I felt a body at my back and widened my eyes, and then I stood away from the body and immediately bowed in front of him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run into you." I say to him, and wait for his answer, as I take a peek above myself, I found dark eyes looking through me.

"…Excuse me, are you Mikan Sakura…?"

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Sigh… That's it! I'm tired!!! (Ignoring that the chapter ended with a cliffhanger) I'm so sorry if this chapter sucks, I've noticed it too! Mikan is back to being a bit carefree (not to mention a bit annoying) …. But how long will it last, everybody? What happened to Ruka!?

…To tell you all the truth, I'm still thinking…

But if you send reviews or suggestions, I might get back to the computer and start typing like a maniac!!! So please send me at least 5 reviews or more to keep me running, you all give me life to write!


	7. The Fall

P-P-Chan!!! I have you finally back to me, did you know, I almost died during the night of Good Friday? It was entirely my fault! Well anyway, all what matters is that your safe and your back in my arms… at last…sniffle…I'm sorry! Anyway, since P-chan is back here with me, let's get on with my story… But after you read this story, I beg of you, please try to send me flames! If you can't find a flaw and you sent me a review written straight from your own words instead, its okay, I will thank you instead with great gratitude from my heart. If you did find a flaw in my whole story, just send me a flame, and I WILL PRAISE YOU!!! (No offense, P-Chan! You're not much of help [Oink)

It is true, but please don't send me reviews concerning about this event, I don't want people and friends of mine in this site to get worried or make backstabbing notes for me… because I am fine, I'm not hurt at all so no worries needed, but if I did make you worry, I will apologize to all the people of the world…!

…_I dedicate this chapter to my dearest mother and baby brother who thankfully didn't get hurt during that night of the accident, and who has been always accepting all my mistakes… I would also like to thank my dear friends, the most important people in my life, especially to my two oneesans and ates, GhiMiNaRuHo and Wizdomgoddess, who gave me hope, enlightenment and courage into this life I have… I thank especially to our Dear Lord who has been protecting me, as well as my dear family and has given me this precious talent of writing…_

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice, so please don't sue me, if you find some characters OOC, I would like to remind you all that this is a fan FICTION…

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Chapter 7: The Fall

"…Excuse me, are you Mikan Sakura…?" the strange man said to me with a mysterious glint shown in his eyes. I was shocked with his strange attire, a black leather coat that covers most of his clothes, including his shadows in the bright hallways, as if he's not one of the living creatures, but more like a demon lurking in broad daylight. Although he might be a demon, he has a face carved by all the beautiful angels in the heavens above, with long dark eyelashes, he might be mistaken for the beauty of a woman shown in his features. His hair with the shade of ebony shines in the light, tied back into a tail, but still leaving some parts of his gorgeous mane covering most of his cold and malicious eyes.

I stared at him with fear, caused by his own menacing eyes, as I stutter to find the words to say, with a flustered face, he starts to move a step back, observing me, letting me lose my mind in his cold and bored stare. I look down to his frail hand, long yet elegant fingers, round up with a heap of silver rings, not leaving any finger naked to my eyes. _"Could those rings be tools to control his alice? He must be very powerful, I have to be careful"_

"Yes, I am Mikan Sakura, may I help you, sir? Are you a sensei here?" I asked, can't contain my curiosity any longer. "…I am sure your familiar with Nogi-san. Do you know where are his whereabouts…?" he asked me back, ignoring my other question, which might seem irrelevant to him.

I widened my eyes at his words, not knowing what to answer him… _"Should I say that I don't know him? No, that can't be, it would be obvious that I was lying, well I may know where he is, but I can't let him know, he might give __**Nogi-san**__ trouble ahead…"_

"May I ask what is your authority upon this matter, sir?" I bravely asked him, making sure if he was safe or not. In that tick of the clock, he leaned closely to my face while holding my face with his smooth yet cold hand, making me fluster under his cold presence. "…Clever young lady, you are, eh, Sakura-san… I might answer you; to my amusement you may call me by the name, _**Sergio**_… I'm just a loyal assistant to this damned academy, my duty sent to me by the _Headmasters _was to find Nogi-san, if you would kindly tell me, Sakura-san, do us both a favor and just answer me straight to the point…" The stranger's husky voice whispered to me very close to my ear, sending me shivers down to my bones.

I finally answered, "…I'm sorry to disappoint you, **Sergio**, if that is your name, I don't know where Nogi-san is, but you better stay away from my **best** friend! You have no bus—" I never got to say my last statement, as I felt his swift movement in holding up my wrist to his level and started to look at me deep in his dark pools.

"What are you—" I was cut off when I realized that he was smirking and silently chuckling at me. "…Hmph, your as weak-minded as your **best** friend as you call him, as well as my **student**…" he whispered at me, with fear entering my ears through my mind, sensing evil is afoot in this academy… while suddenly another reminder came ringing through my ears…

"…_**Little girl, this academy is just a cage, the adults are up to something, and you'll never understand how EVIL this place really is…"**_

"What have you done to Ruka! You hurt him didn't you? Where did you put him!?" I burst out at him, noticing that he hasn't changed his place at all, I started to kick him in his waist and tried to escape, but it was of no use, instead, I received a sickening smirk from him. "..you're mad now aren't you?, How amusing… Well I haven't done anything to him if that's what you were wondering… But if I do find him… I'm sure you will join him, I can assure you that…" I looked down on the floor, filled with thoughts, dark thoughts…

I gasped in surprise when I felt a foreign object suddenly touching my hand, _"Is this…?" _I looked up in wonder just to find the most horrifying action I have ever seen, the stranger or as what he calls himself **Sergio**, placed his very own sword of words, trying to savor my own fingers in his mouth. "No! What are you doing!? Let go of my hand!" I screamed at him with a flustered face with anger and anxiety.

I immediately tried to let go from his hold but all efforts were a waste when he started to tighten his hold on my wrist and started to pull his body closer. He then started to stop and let go of my wrist and held my cheek. Full of fright, I couldn't hold my tears any longer. "…You taste sweet… that disgusts me…" he said with words with full of hatred and terror to my mind.

"_Please help, anybody… Ruka… __**Natsume**__…"_ I started to plead silently in my mind for his mercy, but my prayers were unheard of. As he continued to do nothing but stab me with his own words and actions, I shut my eyes to shield my sight from his own cold and dark eyes.

"What are you doing!? Bastard! Get off of her!" _"Hyuuga-san?…" _ I opened my eyes to see my hopes fulfilled and was suddenly calling his name to my own comfort. "You came for me, Natsume! Natsume…" Sergio didn't seem surprised at all by his presence, from what I can see from my tearful eyes. He suddenly let go of his hold on me and started walking back in a retreat.

"…_**Remember, Sakura-san, I will come back for much more…"**_

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As Sergio was about to leave with a big and humiliating expression upon his eyes, Natsume would never let him leave and ran and held him by his collar with great force. In his eyes, he could tell the message to the demon with the words of "I'll **never **forgive you for hurting her… don't forget that" Natsume was then about to make contact with his left cheek with a hard manner with his clenched wrists ready to give him pain when the demon with the darkest pools in the whole academy began to speak, while stroking his neck like a pet, "… Hmph, I still have to applaud you for your courageous act… but do you still remember on what would happen to you if you would hurt your master? Huh? Little Kuro Neko…?" Natsume then stopped his actions causing him to hide his reactions in the shadows then lets go of his collar and looks at the other way, away from his so called "**master**".

Silence spread the whole hallways as quick as the blink of an eye just after the young **predator **lets his **prey** escape once again, or more likely lets his usual predator to attack once again, only this time, he takes attack on a new character of the battle. So then he leaves to the place the demon belonged, the hidden sorrows of his own darkness. As the demon sets off, he leaves tracks on each of these characters… as his usual charisma and their **fear of him**… his steps, so silent yet swift, disappear from both of his pet and his **newest **toy in his game of **fate**.

Once out of sight, Natsume snaps back and runs towards Mikan. "Did that bastard hurt you, _Mikan_? Where does it hurt…?" he says while gently holding her cheek. Mikan was already crying during the whole commotion and murmurs slight sounds resulting from her shades of colors, she then leaned forward and whispered to him a 'thank you', "… I-I wasn't hurt at all, but I was so scared Natsume! I … t-tried to be brave… I… I really tried my best to…show no fear, but instead h-he…" Mikan tries to say between her silent whimpers and holds up her moist hand, covered by the monster with his poison. Mikan looks down with shame, "… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let him d-do that to me…".

Natsume then takes his warm hand to hold her chin and holds up to his level and takes his own handkerchief to wipe off her glistening tears reflected in the sun's light and wiped off the impurity in her delicate hand. "…" Mikan widened her eyes in surprise at his act of kindness. Then when she stopped her tears from flowing any longer, Natsume held her hand and gave her his handkerchief. "…W-why? I can't have this…" Natsume then placed his hand on top of her head and gave her a guilty face, "I can't protect you, and can't you see how weak I am? Even against **him**?"

Mikan motioned to his hand on top of her and held it in hers, and shook her head in disagreement while pulling his handkerchief with her other hand and held it close to where her heart is. "…That's not true at all you tried to protect me from him, and you succeeded, strength comes from your heart, Nat-Hyuuga-san…thank you" Mikan says with a flustered face "…That's why, I don't need this handkerchief, because I already know who's going to wipe my tears away, even without a handkerchief…" she smiled brightly at him and held his hand open, while gently shoving the handkerchief back. Natsume widened his eyes at her encouraging words then gave her a smile in return causing Mikan glow with a tint of pink. "…Right… Next time, I will give him a whooping in my own hands…" Natsume then part with her and **hid another face he **_**can't **_**let****her see**.

"…Did he just…**smile**? My ears are ringing, did he just call me by my name?" 

"Hyuuga-san? Where are you going?" Mikan says back to her calling of the boy with his "last name". "Hyuuga" seems to notice this and stops dead in his tracks, "…Since were starting over, _Sakura,_ I didn't ask you to call me by my first name last time so I'm asking now…. Can't you call me by my first name? It's getting annoying when you call me _Hyuuga-san_…" Mikan then slowly walked with him and smiled at him.

"…**Natsume…" she says in a soft and gentle manner, noticing the difference she felt from saying his name from last time and up to this present of time. **_**"I feel much more lighter now from saying his name…"**_

"How annoying…isn't it obvious, _Sakura_? I'm going to the class room," he says with his usual smirk forgetting his last order he said to her. Mikan shrugged his words off and went ahead to open the wooden door. _"I've realized it now… I'm sorry; Natsume, but I can't treat you the same way… I still need distance." _Mikan sat down and looked up the window, the only thing she can do right of this moment. "…I'm sorry, Natsume…" Mikan murmured in the uneasy atmosphere of the room.

Across the row of seats from where Mikan's seat plan was since their sensei Narumi purposely implied in order to amuse himself, Natsume looks up from his comic book intentionally trying to read, but instead, eavesdropped on what she said. When he placed his orbs on her, Mikan felt his stare and looked back right at him with wonder written all over her face. "…Oi, I… understand…" he silently said trying to say it as manly as possible keeping up to his reputation **as** a strong person.

Mikan then turned to the color like a Rosa chinensi and nods in reply. After, she gets back to checking her things on her desk and checks the homework the dynamic Mathematics Jinno-sensei gave them.

Few moments after checking, the two early people ever to walk in the building had another newcomer in the room. "Good morning, Mikan…Hyuuga-san" the boy with glasses greeted both of his classmates that morning. While he smiled at Mikan, he instead gave a slight bow to Natsume. "Good day to you, Tobita-san" the boy was a bit surprised by the girl who mentioned his name in such a formal manner instead of calling him by the nick name she gave him. While the other boy's usual response to the president of the class was just looking up at him and nodded with his uninterested look at him. With that, Yuu continued to his seat and motioned to fix up his glasses back up to his nose bridge and had a small sigh. "Is there something wrong, Tobita-san?" his seatmate asks him with a light expression of concern.

"…Eh… Uh… How can I say this...?" Yuu says realizing that he was totally unprepared for that questions this early in the morning of sudden changes around his surroundings. While looking a bit bored at him was Mikan, listening attentively. "By any chance, did you change, Sakura-san?" he finally let go of his words from his mouth. Mikan blushed in embarrassment "Oh? Is it **that **obvious? I must be making you a bit uneasy, I'm sorry then." Mikan lowered her head in an apologetic way. "N-no! You don't have to apologize, I'm completely fine, Mikan-chan!" Yuu said with strange gestures such as waving his arms in embarrassment. Then Mikan gave him a smile to say that things are doing well so far in this day, Yuu stopped and sighed in relief, _"Thank goodness, but she did intimidate me with her new acts, she really has changed, but what __**made**__ her change, I wonder?"_

Yuu stared at her in awe for a few moments and once he realized his actions, finally turned his desk and looked over his notes of the past lessons that were discussed the past week. "Yuu?" Mikan suddenly called which caused Yuu to squeak in surprise and felt his heart suddenly jump. "Uh… Y-yes, Mikan-chan?" He answered. "Um. I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have any notes from the last Math lesson? I wasn't able to put down notes because I forgot to bring my notebook that day. Please help me, Tobita-san, otherwise Jinno-sensei will send me to clean the big clock of the building again if I fail another quiz!" She suddenly bowed and placed her hands together to beg for help. Yuu sweat dropped at this _"But at least __**one **__thing hasn't changed from her, her usual forgetfulness, as always will be there" _

"Of course you can borrow my notes, I don't want you to get up that tall clock, I can still remember the last time you've tried to get up there. It was a good thing Imai-san and I were there." Yuu smiled at her. Mikan blushed in embarrassment at the memory "Was it really necessary bringing that up? But thank you very much, Tobita-san." Yuu rummaged at his bag and stopped to look at her with panic in his eyes. "…Um, Mikan-chan, what was the last lesson you wanted you wanted to write down?" he asked. "…Um, I think it was the lesson about the Quadratic Formulas…" Mikan replied with confusion in her eyes "Why? Is there something wrong?" Yuu began to tremble "Um, Mikan, before you think of anything, I should explain… I had two Math notebooks, since my last one was already filled up. So then I begin to use the new one and I've already memorized the formulas, so I thought to leave the last Math notebook back in my room." Mikan began to show worry in her expression "So then which notebook has the lesson?" "I'm sorry Mikan-chan!!!" Yuu bowed over and over with waterfalls flowing from his eyes.

"Oh no!" Mikan shook her head in disbelief and panic. But then she stopped and sighed, "Its okay Yuu… It wasn't your fault, it was my fault for not taking any notes." She says while patting his shoulder until Yuu snapped to his senses. "But, Mikan-chan, if you fail this week's quiz, what if you fall from that tower?" Mikan gave him a smile with assurance and looked at her front. "I'm sure I'll be fine, as long as I'll be careful."

As Mikan breathed out another heavy sigh, she suddenly felt a light object above her head. "Huh? What was that?" She says while she motions to take the unknown object, while she did, she felt another shadow above her. "Natsume? You're letting me take down your notes?" Mikan looked up to see his crimson eyes with a concerned mood showing.

"Hmph, I had to, besides, I don't want my nap to be disturbed with all those dumb acts of yours." He says back at her, letting his hand slide from his messy yet smooth hair in the process. She sighs back at his childish comebacks and turns at the notebook in hand. "Well thanks anyway, Natsume… Tobita-san, I beg you once again to help me, please teach me how to solve with these head crunching formulas!" she bows once again to her seatmate. "Sure, Mikan-chan I'll help you!" he says to her getting started with a problem to be discussed. As the two inseparable friends drabble away wit numbers, the pretender looks from a distance, wondering his best friend's or his newly made rival's whereabouts were. _"what happened to you, Ruka, where did you suddenly run off to?"_

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Silence can be heard from the faculty's lounge, taking a peek inside would be forbidden for students, especially when an emergency meeting was being held that morning, making all middle school students very curious on what a commotion would have occurred, since even their very own Jinno-sensei had a look of sheer terror while another teacher whispered to his ear, even causing the frog by his side stay silent.

After the long whisper, the Math teacher turned to the class and cleared his throat with a worried look; he looked back at the whole class. "Class, it seems we have another meeting, so our quiz would have to be postponed. Meanwhile, your president will monitor the class, I expect you all to observe self-discipline." Right after the class' teacher went in a fast pace to head to the office, everybody began talking to each other at once, while others wouldn't care less. Yuu suddenly stood up and motioned to try and silence them. "Please, you heard what Jinno-sensei said, stay quiet!" the class' president lectures, only, hiding under a table due to the paper throwing of his troublesome class mates. while two students sat silently, knowing the cause of all the commotion. Mikan looks up to Natsume with negative feelings written all over her, she sees him nod at her, with burning eyes flashing. Mikan then looks away, trying so hard to hold her loud feelings, failing miserably; she places her palms hiding her face. The boy looks at the crying maiden, deciding to hurt his pride.

The boy stands up, and so does his pride, not afraid in humiliating himself while he walks up to her and places his hand on her head, alarming her and holds his hand in hers for comfort. All heads were turned at the most rarest scene, even the mind reader stopped to turn at them, trying so hard to read both the couple's thoughts, but all his efforts were drained, causing him to be shocked, since he knew he couldn't read the girl with the nullifying alice, but he can't even read the boy's thoughts. _"Can it be Mikan's doing as well? That's impossible, I thought she was as weak as a button, but there's no other way. Is it both their powers combined?" _Sumire or Permy, as Mikan calls her was jaw-dropped at the scene. The room was filled with silence, confusion and awe. _"Is that __**my **__Natsume-kun, comforting the low-life, one star Sakura Mikan? Who's known to be the most useless student in the whole academy? He's even holding her hand! What the hell is going on here!?"_

"Hey, you gonna be okay, _Sakura_?" Natsume asks his special friend. The question made the "owner" of Natsume collapse in shock, but to the others' surprise, left her on the floor. Yuu, who was already confused on the sudden silence looked up from the teacher's desk where he was hiding, and smiled to himself at the scene. _"Hotaru would be already clicking away on her camera, this certainly would be a memorable scene." _Yuu blushed on his thought and turned back to the center of attention and walked up to the girl and starts comforting her. "Mikan-chan, I may not know what's wrong, and I probably would never know, since its really obvious that it's a secret, but you should still know that your friends are here to listen and help you out" he says then turned to the shocked people around him, "Well, there's nothing to see here! Get back to your seats or I **will** report you to Jinno-sensei! You don't want to go up to the tall clock of the building like Mikan-chan here did, don't you?" he says with a fearful frown on his face and was surprised at his own words. _"Wow, that's a first!" _he thought while looking at faces of the majority of the class terrified and surprised at his little sermon. A few moments of getting back their thoughts into shape, abide by going back to their proper places, silent and filling their minds of thoughts on what this day would bring. With the shocked girl still confused on her seat, dared not to look at the jaw-dropping sight.

the two boys still continue to comfort in their places in the sight of the girl's tears continuing to flow down from her red cheeks. "This is all my fault" Mikan whispered to her companions "Don't blame yourself, these things were unwanted but sometimes, we can't help but **let** them happen" Natsume says. While the girl sits still, the fire caster thinks of when will all this matter finally end. He reaches out to her face and gently wipes her tears away with his thumb.

Mikan looks up to him and tightens her hold on his hand, giving him a small smile. "I'll find a way to sneak up on the faculty room, you stay here with Tobita." Natsume whispers to her ear, showing determination in his eyes. Mikan then backs off, looking straight to his eyes with worry, "You can't do that, and you might get into trouble. Or worse, **he** might hurt you, I want you to stay by my side, Natsume." She says to him, the boy smirked at her and caressed her hand he then held it up to his face and made contact with her hand to his cheek, "I'm already **in** trouble, _Sakura_, don't worry, just wait for me… that's the most obvious thing to do around here anyway." With that, he lets go of her hand and turned to the window and stopped beside the other boy. "Look after her for me, will ya?" with Yuu's nod as his reply, the fire caster sets off and jumps out the window, without looking back at her face.

When Yuu looked back at the girl, he noticed she was already smiling with tears on her eyes, with her hands close to her chest. Yuu smiled at her and looks back at the window, with deep thoughts in his mind.

"…_I'll have to wait again, but this time, I know he __**will **__come back, for sure…Natsume, you're still a jerk..."_

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I jump from the window, without turning back; I know that she'll have to wait for a little bit more. I jump to the next tree, searching for the window that leads to the faculty room, in order to hear more information of "Sergio's" little arrival or if they have any clue where Ruka was. As I jump to the 2nd window from the lower floor, I notice a silhouette of a man close to the pane. I then quickly glided to the pillar next to it and stay as silent as possible, hearing from the teachers of what's left in their meeting.

"…As you can see with my being in front of all of you, the Headmaster has certain things to be put **out**…" the same dreadful and familiar voice says. _"Seems I'm here just in time after all" _everything was still and silent in the room, as if the room was abandoned and old with just spirits lying around. "In other words, I—or rather the Headmaster wants that troublemaker to be out of this academy and to be **under my control and to be taken cared of**…" I heard a gasp from everybody in the room and listened attentively.

"Who are you talking about, Persona?" I heard Misaki-sensei say. "Oh, don't act like you don't know… **that person's child**…" I heard the devil say, I widened my eyes in shock _"You mean, __**that person, **__the person that Persona mentioned to me years ago…__had a child? And the child is here in the academy? This can't be…"_ I snapped back when I heard Persona speak one again. "…The child is the target of the Anti-Alice Organization… but this time… not only the child, but they want that **boy** as well… Which leads me to ask you all this… Where is that boy…?" I felt the devil going around the room; amused by the tense atmosphere he was feeling. _"Which boy? Are they talking about Ruka? Do they know where Ruka is right now…?" _I wiped a bead of sweat from my eyebrow. I felt my legs begin to lose balance, an effect from my last night trip to the warehouse, an attack from the Anti Alice Organization.

"…Where is Ruka Nogi…?" Persona asks. "…He escaped…according to my vision in my crystal ball, he left the academy last night…" Serina says in a calm voice. _"how could this be, Ruka? You were fine last night when I talked to you. What is wrong with you, Ruka! Why did you suddenly decide to run away, Mi-Sakura is crying over you, damn it!…Wait, this could mean that even though all the teachers knew he escaped, why didn't they go after him then?" _ "Is that so, kids are so amusing, is it not?… He'll come back, in the meantime, start searching for him, the Headmaster really is starting to get frustrated with all this trouble around the campus… who knows, **they**, with **that person** by their side might attack soon this academy.. and they might even take…" he suddenly stopped speaking and then I felt him moving in a fast pace and was heading for the window pane.

" _shit! He's coming." _ I quickly jumped to the next tree and hid with the leaves covering. I escaped just in time before a small dagger was suddenly shooting out from the pane in a swift movement, shattering the glass and hit the swift unfortunate swallow that appeared and was attacked right in the very place where his heart was. As I saw it suddenly falling down from the height, I felt my heart pounding with great anxiety. _"shit… That could've been me…"_ after everything was still and silent once again, I leaped from the tree back to the room with troublesome thoughts and questions filling my mind.

"…_Most importantly, will Ruka ever survive and get through…?"_

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The man in black stayed silent for several minutes and looked back at the rest of the terrified people around him. "…Birds chirping are so annoying, don't you all agree…" the devil gave them a small smile _"… My, my… Natsume, its not good to eavesdrop your superiors…" _Persona then turned back to his old bored expression on his face and Serina then bravely looked back at him, "…Was it really necessary to harm a poor innocent creature!?…" she says in an angry manner. The man turned to the door and said in a calm manner, "… Was it really necessary to care for a creature with no heart to even cry for himself…?"

Then he turned the knob and right before he stepped out of the room, he turned to all the teachers and placed a smirk upon his pale face, "…Good day to all of you then…" he bade and shut the door behind him, disappearing to the light blinding hallways, losing sight of his figure. Leaving the trembling woman in her seat with her ball of visions, her heart pounding at his familiar question from her secret past and clutching her ring around her finger, that unlocks memories, memories that are supposed to never be remembered.

"…_Why?… Why must you turn yourself into a monster?…Persona…"_

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I arrived back into the classroom unharmed, except feeling my legs numb. I spotted her in a corner with Tobita, smiling, but I can still see in her eyes, that she was still worried and was feeling uneasy. I came to her and pat her shoulder. "Natsume, your finally here, are you okay? You didn't get hurt did you?" she asks me, with her usual worrisome look, which made me smile to myself. "Yeah, I'm okay…" then I flinched at the next moment from the pain I felt from my leg. "Are you sure your okay? I told you that you should not have went to the meeting. did you find out some things about _Nogi-san_?" I sat down beside her and held her shoulders with deep concern. "About that, _Sakura_, why did Ruka run away? Was there something going on between the two of you?" I asked her.

"…" she was silent, which caused me to start being frustrated. _"Is it really this serious? Why can't she tell me?"_

"Tell me, _Sakura_, what happened between you and Ruka last night?" I asked her once again. She looked away from me and I began to tighten my hold on her shoulders. "… I… can't…" she says in a small whisper. I began to shake her, "Why can't you tell me? Is it because you can't trust me?… I want to know what happened to him, please…" I stopped shaking her and paused. "…He's still my best friend…" I let go of her shoulders and looked up at her. "I want to find him."

_Sakura _looked at me with sadness shown all over her eyes, I widened my eyes in shock. "What's—" "You should leave him… Nogi-san I mean, it's his decision to leave to find the path, his **own **path that we are all finding, the path that leads us to peace… but I know he will come back… that's why I'll even wait for forever for him to get back and smile… but, the other reason he left was…**me**…" she then looked away, causing the both of us to stay silent for several moments.

"…_This can't be it… The reason… is because of __**her**__? Ruka, what made you think of __**leaving **__your very own precious person in this whole world…? Was it because of… __**me**_

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I arrived in a small village in the country, from riding my eagle all throughout the night, the same night where I decided to leave. I have no purpose, which is why I must leave. I'm filled with dirt, not only from the ground but also from my rotten deeds. I left my eagle and bade him goodbye. I decided to hide in this small place leading to nowhere and try to find integrity of my life.

I collapsed from disillusionment and weariness. I felt the soft green grass and absorbed the serenity of the village, away from troubles from this moment… But there will always come a day when I will have to come back, just until I find **it**.

I feel a presence coming my way, I try to move from my place but failed miserably. I was stuck to the soft ground and tried to look up from me, but my sight was blurry and saw deep auburn orbs looking down on me. From there, I felt myself lose all consciousness…

"…Ah, are you okay, there, mister?…"

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Another chapter successfully done! (P-chan and AT-chan dancing the "chapter-is-done,-well-done" Dance) Looks like Ruka made it out of the academy just okay and Mikan and Natsume are blooming in this chapter, so I can't wait for reviews that tell me on what you think of this chapter! I would also like to thank very much to my loyal readers! I admire you! Hope you send me at least 5 reviews…. Otherwise, P-chan and I will lose our jobs and we will have to delete this story.

Oh and if you have nothing to say or don't want to review, I'll still thank you for at least reading this story so far.

Take care!!! (Oink!, P-chan dancing)


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